Birthday girl

Lilah started hollering the moment she was from my womb untimely ripped, pausing only for the brief moment they put her in my arms.  Then the nurses took her so that the doctors could perform my tubal ligation, and that baby fussed the entire time they rooted around in there, pulling the plugs.  She bleated as they sewed me up, and then cried as they cleaned and weighed her and moved us all to a recovery room.

Finally, almost an hour after she was born, they handed her back to me, and I was able to given her what she wanted.  She took that nipple into her mouth and shut the hell up, sucking away as if to say, “You fucking morons.  That’s what I’m talking about.”

When she was a week old, she re-entered the hospital because of jaundice.  Shortly thereafter, she needed a scan because of something called a “sacral dimple” and an x-ray to diagnose her reflux.  At two months old, we had the saga of the pneumonia, complete with ambulance ride and six days in the hospital.

She was a very expensive newborn.

I won’t be spilling any secrets if I tell you she is worth every penny.

This is a baby who takes off across the floor, doing her own thing, while chaos reigns around her.  She began crawling at five-and-a-half months, perhaps because everyone kept ignoring her and she needed to find her own way around.  I have never seen a baby so adept at entertaining herself, although I do wish she’d do it with something other than the toilet.

Yet, oh my god, does that baby adore her mama.  She was born hollering for me, and from day one she knew that the sun rose and set around me.  The boys, yeah, they love me, but for this child I am the complete package.  And when she crawls for me, repeating “mamamamamama,” I drop everything because nineteen pounds of sweetness is coming at me.

She is good and sweet and independent and physical and – the biggest blessing of all – she is pretty quiet.  She babbles enough to let us know she can, but, thanks be to the heavens above, I think I have earned a quiet child at the last.

And I don’t care that she breaks out into hives from about 30% of the foods we feed her and that she has sucked her thumb so much that she has chronic eczema and that she thinks it’s funny to drop grass down my shirt.  Because she is worth all the trouble with that sweet smile.

“Lilah, do you want Bunny?” I ask, and even though she cannot talk, she laughs to let me know she approves of my suggestion.

“Where is Zachary?” I ask, and she laughs and looks at him, pleased with herself for knowing the answer.

We walk past a book and she starts laughing, only to turn to agitated screaming if we continue on without stopping to pick it up.  When the moronic adult gets the message and picks up the book, she urgently flips to the page with the tiger, then, delighted smile on her face, she turns to the reader and growls.

People, I am not overstating the fact when I tell you that Lilah is the happiest accident ever to occur.  That my life has grown and filled beyond description because one day, 21 months ago, I peed on a stick and it came up pink.  Someday, she will be a teenager who hates me and reminds me regularly how idiotic I am.  Someday after that, she will be the kind of strong woman that comes from having two older brothers.

For right now, though, she is sweetness on the go, stopping only for a snuggle, a quick thumb-suck, and a cuddle with her bunny before she heads off to pull all the cups out of the cabinet and then push that bunny around the kitchen inside our colander.  I am thankful daily that we decided to use a previous history of infertility as birth control, because a year ago today, I fell in love all over again.

23 responses to “Birthday girl

  1. happy birthday, sweet girl!

    Congratulations all over again. I’m glad you have this blessings in your life.

  2. Happy Birthday!

  3. happy birthday Lilah….. a great day to be born if I don’t say so myself!

  4. This was so, so sweet, Em.

    Happy Birthday to your sweet girl!

  5. So wonderful! Happy birthday, Lilah!

  6. What a great birthday post! Happy Birthday to your “always baby.”

  7. Happy Birthday, Lilah! There are some “accidents” that suck, such as falling off a ladder and breaking your neck. But then there are some “accidents” that are really miracles! It sounds like Lilah is one of those!

  8. angelastockman

    Oh…happy birthday to both of you! No such thing as an accident. Some kids are just hell-bent on getting here so they can wake us up, make us smile, and do great things in the world. I know a couple of kids like that myself ; )

  9. Happy Birthday Lilah and Lilah’s mom. This brought tears to my eyes.

  10. Happy birthday to Lilah! And of course, happy day to you as well. It’s amazing how these little people insinuate themselves so completely into our lives and hearts.

    I am very partial to this day, because it also happens to be my husband’s birthday. Good people are born on September 23. :)

  11. She Started It

    Happy Birthday, Sweet Baby Girl!

  12. Crap, I think it’s my Dad’s birthday too!

    What a lovely birthday present this will always be to her. I have my own strong-willed single-minded girl, and every day when she bullets from the doors of the school yelling “Mommy Mommy Mommy!” and all the other Moms yell brace yourself! I’m right there with you. Shine on you crazy diamonds :)

  13. Oh, happy birthday happy baby! Save this for her. She will love it when she’s able to read at age 2.5!

  14. Wonderful! Happy Birthday to Lilah, one of the prettiest girl names I’ve ever heard.

  15. Happy birthday, Lilah!

  16. pure joy to read! Happy Birthday!

  17. Happy birthday to Lilah. I am still in denial about what tomorrow means for Harrison. Am considering saying, oh he’s just 12 months. A year, heck no.

    He’s easy too. Third kids kinda rule. :)

  18. Sometimes you have to change the word “accident” to “surprise”

    Happy Birthday Lilah.

  19. So sweet!

    Happy Birthday to your girl!

  20. Did you ever imagine yourself needing a tubal?? Sometimes the things we least expect turn into our greatest joys. (Lilah, not the tubal.)

  21. wonderful.

    and a MacBeth reference to boot. love it.

  22. Belated happy birthday to Lilah! Wow, it’s only been a year. Loved the descriptions.