Let’s hear it for the boy

When we were younger, J used to give me flowers.  He doesn’t anymore, although that may be due to one or diatribes I have performed about the environmental waste involved with cut flowers.  And, he does not give me chocolates anymore, although that may be because I have given up sweets.  But, darn it, he does not give me jewelry, either, and I have absolutely no philosophical qualms about most forms of bling.  Well, except for blood diamonds, I suppose…

          So, perhaps I have not left the door open for much in the way of romance.  But, gosh darn it, I think he may have gone too far.  Overheard the other night after dinner: 

J: “From the waist up, you are smaller than I have seen you in a long time.”

Emily: “You know, that’s not really what I wanted to hear.”

J: “I mean, before you had Ben, you were really thin.  From the waist up, you are that thin now.”

Emily: “You know, usually when you are in a hole four feet deep and you have a shovel, you should consider stopping the digging.”

Zachary: “Mommy, excuse me please.  I have something to tell you.”

J (relieved): “Please!”

Well, it’s hard to complain.  He was doing the dishes at the time.

I have a friend.  She is feeling isolated and overworked and needing support from other mothers.  She is also a very good writer.  I think she needs a blog.  A Mommy blog, perhaps.  Do me a favor?  Leave her a note here telling her so.

29 responses to “Let’s hear it for the boy

  1. Ashley Fuchs

    Hah! How many of these friends have you got? 😉 I know, I know…but truth be told, one day of isolation can spark a chain reaction of outreach and the love pours in…It is nice to know that in this sisterhood of Motherhood, we all have moments of Grace and moments of sheer Hell–enough so that when your friend is going through one or the other, we can all relate. Thanks for reaching out across the pond to cheer me up. I don’t feel lonely today! (and after we talked, I cancelled my night shift on Friday, so I feel well rested too…even better) For all of you having a lousy day: take comfort. Tomorrow you will feel…different. And different is good.

  2. He is SO like my husband. Except that I’d still be trying to explain to my husband why what he said was not exactly a compliment.

    Hi, Ashley! Start a blog! It’s better than therapy! And the community, it lifts you up in ways you’d never have imagined.

    There. How was that, Emily?

  3. Oh, and Deniece Williams. I finally got one of your song references!

  4. First: I now have the “Let’s Hear It For The Boy” medley playing on the Jukebox From Hell In My Head. Thanks for that.

    Second: Your hubby is lucky to have escaped Sofa City, if you ask me. Them’s fightin’ words around here. I always tell hub that if he thinks about saying something and doesn’t know whether it’ll make me mad or not, he should just rephrase it as “You look beautiful today.”

    Third: Hello Ashley! Yes, please do start a blog. It’s fun, it’s therapeutic, and you get to talk to all kinds of interesting people. I mean interesting as in witty and charming, not as in scary and creepy, of course. 😉

  5. I still only have very Eeyorish comments springing forward in my mind over here. Way to make a girl self-conscious.

    Uh, but in a good way. Blogging’s great. Go for it, Ashley.

  6. On the jewelry issue. You have hit upon a sore spot for me. One that drives me completely frackin bonkers actually.

    I’m a gifter. I buy my wife a lot of gifts, from cheesecake to flowers (screw the hit the environment takes on flowers, I already have plans to buy carbon offsets, I recycle, I drive an environmentally friendly car, I turn off lights when I leave the room, I spent a fortune on compact fluorescent lights, I never litter, I use my garbage disposal for all food products, I’ve got plans to convert my house to solar for frack’s sake! etc etc. I’ll enjoy giving my wife pretty flowers) to clothing to a new laptop for Christmas. I have only ever given her one piece of jewelry. This engagement ring: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cautionroadiecrossing/sets/72157603670151867/

    Now why have I stayed away from jewelry? Simple. The woman won’t help me by giving m any indication of what she likes! All I know is that she isn’t interested in yellow gold and large precious stones. She has bought a few pieces on her own, but very few. She had no jewelry to speak of when we first got together. Any time I point out something I think she might like, I’m dead wrong on it. No matter how often I encourage her to show me what she likes, she never does.

    I’m at my wits end with the stupid thing. I’m at the bottom of the barrel for gift giving with her. I’d love to buy her jewelry but I don’t know what to get her.

    What does every psychologist say about having a better sex life? COMMUNICATE. If you want jewelry, point out what you like, explain WHY you like it. With some direction, we’ll get there eventually and find you things you like and enjoy. Believe me, I would like nothing more than to give my wife a beautiful piece that she can wear and feel good about.

  7. Blogging rocks my world and I recommend it to anyone. It allows you to vent, story-tell, document, re-live, re-think and share. It also allows you to meet other people with whom you can relate, cheer, cry and grow. You are never alone.

  8. Ohhh..yes! Ashley, please start a blog! I’m always looking for interesting blogs to read and I’m sure that your’s would be great. Blogging is a good thing.

  9. hey, em’s friend. get a blog. they’re free and fun. and well, you can spew if you like, and people will leave you comments and you will feel loved.

    (that’s all i got)

  10. Boys just don’t get it…

    And, I think all mom’s could use a good blog! Go for the blog girl!

  11. em’s friend, you should blog. everything liv says. also, people don’t let you feel sorry for yourself — although that might just be my issue, i don’t know.

    em, your husband cracks me up (while sounding vaguely familiar….)

  12. My husband is a lot like yours! The intentions are always good, but somehow .. .it comes out all wrong!

    They can’t win, can they? Except when they do the dishes!

    I say don’t buy me flowers, chocolates, or jewelery! Just clean my house . . . or hire me a maid! Either will suffice! 🙂

  13. Husbands can (and do) say the dumbest things…


    Getting blog friend!!

  14. Oh my goodness. LOL Poor guy, can’t win for losing. Never offer conditional commentary on a woman’s looks, age or figure LOL.

    Yes, Emily’s friend…start a blog. Make lots of space in your life, first, though.

  15. Emily’s friend? Start a blog if you want to. They can be fun.

    And Emily, I so feel your pain on the husband with Chronic Foot-In-Mouth-Itis. The Daver suffers from it as well. I’ll give you an example, just to make you laugh:

    Several weeks before our wedding, I had made a joke about being the “hottest girl he’d dated.” He then informed me that I was not, in fact the hottest chick he’d dated.

    Yeeouch. Thanks, buddy.

    Still married him, tho. I’ve just learned not to ask questions about things like that any more. Seems wiser, eh?

  16. Maybe your husband needed to read Alexander and the THNGVBD! Thanks for the recommendation, by the way. That was one of my favorites as a kid, but I have only read it to Calvin once.

    For your friend, I held out for a long time, but I have really loved the friends I have found through blogging. And the intellectual stimulation. And the exposure to new people and ideas….It’s so worth if for SAHM’s.

  17. Oh, friend of Emily–you most certainly need a blog. It is a wonderful thing, and Emily has a lovely set of bloggy friends too!

    And Emily, I once received a buckwheat pillow as a gift because I made some random comment about wanting one (I was being sarcastic. This was not understood). My friend Kristen? A case of motor oil one year. Window washer fluid the next. It’s hopeless.

  18. Oh my god! I thought my husband was the king of back-handed compliments. Where do they learn this stuff.

    Yes your friend should start a blog, unless it will lead to obsessive checking of the blog to see if anyone’s commented/cares/is listening. That’s just not healthy…

  19. That conversation was priceless – he is a little clueless, isn’t he?! Too funny! Take care and tell your friend that we would love to welcome her into our little blogging world – I love meeting new moms! See ya. Kellan

  20. Well, this is definitely the place to be encouraged to start a blog. We are all obviously addicted! 😉 Honestly, I was surprised at what blogging brought my way compared to what I thought I would get out of it.

    Regarding J’s attempt at a compliment. Any sentence that begins with “From the waist up…” better end with, “you are as beautiful as you are from the waist down.” End of story. 😉

  21. all mommies need a blog.

  22. dear unnamed friend – blogging rocks. Join us!

    and your husband. nuts. he must be nuts to not only say that, but then say it AGAIN. I’m sure he was trying to compliment you. they sure are thick, though, aren’t they?

  23. Men are fools, I am quite convinced of it!

  24. To you friend – all the cool moms are doing it, so you should too. *grin* Seriously, blogging is freeing and fun.

    Oh, and your man. A for effort, no? =)

  25. To some people, blogging is theraupetic even. So, no harm starting one. Just don’t get too addicted! 😉

  26. i think she’ll find blogging to be a salve, an important community, a space to breathe. i think that, absolutely. i hope to meet her soon.

  27. I love the shovel line. I’ll try to remember that.

    And your friend? Yes, dive in!!

  28. Uh-Oh! Sounds like me husband, doing some back peddling, all the while not helping his cause!
    Blogging has been such a great release for me as well as a way to connect with people outside my normal comfort zone. I highly recommend it!

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