Things that go bump

            I have feared the dark my entire life.  I’m no psychologist, but I’m guessing the five years I lived in an abusive home as a child might have something to do with this fear.  The feeling has ranged from mild anxiety to downright terror, depending upon the situation, yet it has always been a part of me.

            I mostly got over it in my late 20s, when I started living with J full time.  I developed a habit of feeling safe at night that replaced my habit of checking under the beds and in the closet.  Even when he started traveling more, I had gotten out of the routine of fear and felt pretty much OK in the house by myself with only an alarm system to keep me company.

            And then, of course, a gentleman decided to start breaking into homes in my new neighborhood wearing a ski mask.  Welcome back, fear of the dark.

            The house has an alarm system, but it has not yet been activated.  Needless to say, I have the kind folks at ADT coming over here today.  We have no pets to frighten criminals away, although I can’t say a cat would really accomplish all that much.  And, of course, my husband has not been home much at night. 

            It is clear this guy watches the neighborhood, which is why he chooses the homes of old women living alone who leave their windows open at night.  Should he run out of old women, however, I fear we would be next on his list.  Again, I’m not an expert, but if I were a ski-masked burglar, I would choose the six-months-pregnant woman alone all week with two small children. 

            I check and recheck locks.  I keep a phone and a cell phone by my bed.  I wake up every hour in the night.  Because now, there is a real-life boogeyman to fear, and I have someone other than myself to worry about.

26 responses to “Things that go bump

  1. That would scare me, too. Glad the alarm people are coming today. My husband is travelling for 6 days starting today. Besides the extra work, I will get much less sleep just because I am a little uneasy about being the sole protector of the household at night. Hope the alarm lets you get a little more sleep.

  2. (raising hand) Me too. I’ve always been terrified of the dark. And your situation sounds very scary. Hope they catch the guy soon.

  3. It’s not like pregnant women sleep well as it is. Glad you are getting the alarm working today. But if it makes you feel any better, I would guess that your being pregnant and having two little kids would actually scare the burglar away. Most of them looking for easy money don’t want to get involved with small children or pregnant, hormonal women. It’s too unpredictable, unlike old women who have pretty regular habits and are going to sleep through more. Keeping your windows closed and having a alarm system, even if it isn’t working, are good deterrents too.

    My husband isn’t gone often, but when he is, I often contemplate my mother-in-law’s offer to take one of her German Shepherds to live here. If only we had more than 1200 square feet and I felt like having another thing to take care of…

    I’m stopping right now to pray for your safety and that the ski mask guy gets caught.

  4. I, too, have always been afraid of the dark. I go to bed last in our house, and sometimes I have to walk down the dark hallway to my bedroom backwards, so as not to turn my back on the dark living room.

    Oddly though, I don’t lock the doors at night. Or ever, for that matter. It’s a strange habit, this not-locking, and one i wish I could get over.

  5. Pingback: Night Terrors « Candy’s Corner

  6. I hope they catch the SOB who’s terrorizing your neighborhood soon, Em. Glad ADT will be out today; that would make me feel more comfortable too.

  7. Good grief that would scare me too!! And I’m pretty used to living on my own. Hope they catch the guy!!

  8. Oh that sucks. I hope you feel a little more secure after the alarm people get you set up…

  9. Grrrrr. Our house was broken into just a few days before we moved in so yes, every night I lock the doors – double lock – all the doors, and yes I check at least once. I’m not so much afraid of the dark as afraid of the dark in people.

  10. *nods head*

    Always been afraid at night. Always.

  11. You and me both.

  12. I would say get a dog. A big dog. But I’m guessing dealing with a dog is the last thing you need on your plate right now. ugh. What a scary situation for you, dude. Will you rest easier once the alarm is set up?

  13. The alarm should give you some peace. I know how it is to stay alone a lot, and I felt better when we had a dog to bark at things. I hope it gets easier to sleep when the alarm is installed.

    Of course, before long you’ll have a baby crying at night, and that’s bound to scare off any man trying to get in your house. 🙂

  14. My husband used to work nights and I HATED IT. I live in a big city, whose local newscasts would be enough to scare the living “bajeezus” out of anybody!

    We have an alarm that we set EVERY night–it helps me feel safe–And helps me know that the kids are safe.

    Hope the alarm settles you a little as well!

  15. oh Em. this sleep deprivation coupled with real fear is the last thing you need right now. i am so sorry.

  16. That *is* scary!

  17. The alarm is working now, right? I hope it helps give you some peace. And some sleep.

  18. Ooh, that is seriously scary. I hope you can be at peace, but also actually safe. Have you spoken to the police? (you may have mentioned – sick kid=behind in blog reading)

  19. I sleep with a baseball bat under my bed. And my hubby has a whole locked gun cabinet full of shotguns. I’m just saying. I hear ya.

  20. I always check locks, and I don’t have the same threat that you do. I’d be afraid of the dark too. I am, in fact. Is that something that you just don ‘t grow out of?

  21. Oh, dear. This is not at all what you need. Get ADT to get that alarm activated and stat. I just can’t bring myself to suggest you get a dog!

  22. I am so glad to see that other people are afraid of the dark! In fact just about 15 minutes ago I put off running the dishwasher until tomorrow morning because I have to go to the basement to get more detergent and I wanted to wait until morning to go to the basement. I’m so scared of it at night, but not in the day! I thought I was the only adult still afraid of the dark. I also hate walking from my baby’s room to our room after feeding her in the middle of the night because it is so dark, even though it’s just a few feet away!
    I hope the alarm helps you sleep better. Maybe you can ask the police to drive by your house a few times per night when your husband isn’t home?

  23. i’m glad you’re getting an alarm.

    maybe light timers too?

  24. Poor Emily. I really understand about the way that phantom fears become intolerable when they are linked to a real counterpart. Get the security in your house as high and comforting as it can be. And then see if you can tackle its roots in the past. You don’t deserve to make yourself suffer more than is necessary.

  25. Dark does not scare me. Night does not scare me. Ski-masked men scare me.

    Take care.

  26. I’ve always had that problem with the dark, too. Have gotten much better buet it. t still have a tendency to check closets and beds when alone or when odd noises manifest at night. Totally get it and hope they catch the damn guy so you can sleep!