When I post about Proposition 8, I create respectful and well thought-out debate.  When I post about karate, I hear from numerous readers about the way karate has affected them or their families.  When I post about losing my shit and hollering like a banshee at my children, I get a lot of “me, too” comments.  Last week, however, I clearly hit on the mother of all topics, because I have rarely gotten as many comments as I did on my post last week.

            Wow.  Like, you people have some serious opinions on kindergarten. 

            J and I appreciate all the feedback.  The consensus was that red-shirting will make him bored in school and an extra year will make no difference in his social anxiety, except for all the people who felt he definitely needs to be held because being the youngest will lead directly to a third-grade crack addiction.  In other words, there was absolutely no definitive answer.  Shit.

            The feedback that pushed us over the edge was probably an email from J’s cousin, who has a bit of experience with four-year-olds, given that she used to run a preschool and now teaches early childhood educators.  She was emphatic and unequivocal, and she told us what we were already thinking anyway.  Send him.

            So, while the decision is not 100%, Zachary will most likely be going to kindergarten in the fall.  Which scares the living shit out of me, because he may be ready for kindergarten, but I’m not sure that I am.

21 responses to “Readiness

  1. Trust your feelings – and do what you think is right now…and then be prepared to make adjustments. This is what we did – and neither boy was pulled after starting…I am sure your little one will do great!

  2. I had the same fears about Five and kindergarten – he’s smart as a whip, but emotionally, I didn’t think he was ready, even after a year of Head Start. He’s got some sensory issues and a possible mood disorder. It’s been a bit stressful at times, bu I think we’ve finally hit a groove with him. He’s reading short stories now and is getting a handle on the social stuff also. His teacher has the patience of a saint and I suppose its also good that he’s got the same teacher that Six had last year, so she knows our family. In the end, I believe that establishing a good working relationship with the school has made this a successful experience for Five. I’m positive that it will work out the same way, for you and Zachary.

  3. My daughter is one of the youngest in her kindergarten class (born July) and while she generally loves it she has problems concentrating/reading etc. I don’t mean that she is the same type as your son but all i mean is I don’t worry because I figure if she does not progress adequately she can just repeat Kindergarten again?

  4. that’s what happened to me. I was more nervous than she was. I was the one who had more trouble adjusting to the new schedule and sometimes I still feel like i’m not totally there yet, although she is doing fine.

  5. its good to make a decision, since we have a whole ‘nother year before we HAVE to choose, I feel some peace…… right now I am leaning towards waiting, but I fear it might be a selfish decision on my part….. I don’t want him growing up too fast! I think everyone is right though, it doesnt really matter what you do, our children are highly adaptable!

  6. I’ll look forward to hearing how it plays out for him– and you.

  7. Awww–that’s great that you made your decision.

  8. He will be fine, and so will you!

  9. Good luck, ma’am. He will be totally fine, but I know if I were you, I’d be having a total meltdown. Why exactly do kids have to grow up?

  10. if we said we were sure we’d surely be lying. all we can do is the best we can. ask the village when we need to, sort out what we hear, and leap.

    just like you are doing now.

  11. Oh, that’s neat that you have someone in the family who works with little kids and has a general idea of what might work and might not. That’s AWESOME, in fact. And presumably she knows Zach well enough to have an opinion informed by him and his personality, as well.

    I wish you BOTH luck on his trip to kindergarten. 😉 Hang in there.

  12. “…he may be ready for kindergarten, but I’m not sure that I am.”

    I hear you. My little one will be starting kindergarten in fall of 2010. She has a February birthday, so will be among the oldest in her class. She will be fine, but I’m sort of nervous already, and I have over a year and a half to go. It’s much harder watching these little ones grow up than I expected it to be.

  13. It’s always tougher on mommy, but you’ll adjust quickly and in the blink of an eye you’ll be beaming b/c you’re so darn proud of him and all that he is accomplishing each day.

  14. Can I tell you something? I am on my second round of kids going to kindergarten and I’m not ready for it. Bailey will be five when she goes, but still she seems so little and babyish.

  15. i think you’ve been reading me long enough to know we had a similar debate with MQ, except that even as the youngest kid she is one of the tallest.

    We put her in early. She is THRIVING. There have been a few minor problems, but I truly believe they are MINOR compared to what we would have had had we waited.

    I think it depends on the child. And YOU know your child. Make the best decision you can, then make it be the BEST decision
    (plus, I always figured if she wasn’t ready for Kindergarten I’d rather have her repeat that, then SKIP a grade later, which some people were encouraging me to do. ack!)

  16. For whatever it’s worth, we’d send mini in a heartbeat in September if she were allowed. She misses the age cutoff by 3 weeks, but she’s totally ready and I worry about her being bored at school too.

  17. Tee hee, I just emailed you asking about this.

    Glad you are on solid ground. To me, it seems a good choice. And you will be FINE. Girlie, you are going to be thanking g-d that he is there when you have that little girl toddling around!

  18. I don’t think mothers ever are. ((you))

  19. My best friend went through this last year. Her son was ready in some ways and not in others. The biggest issue was that he doesn’t handle change well. Even a substitute teacher in his 2 day a week preschool was a problem. He got freaked out at soccer because it was new, even though it was all kids he knew from preschool. The concern was legit.

    They sent him and he’s done wonderfully.

    My son is one of the youngest, but we didn’t think about it much. He was academically ready, socially outgoing, and big for his age. To keep him back at that point in time would have been absurd.

    You’d never suspect he’s the youngest. I hope that it doesn’t become a problem at some point. So far, it just annoys him that as soon as school starts everyone is having birthdays and his isn’t until the next summer after school is out. Almost all of his mates are 7 now, and he won’t be until the end of June.

    It’s a big decision, and really a gut call.

  20. That’s good if you’ve made a decision and the very best of luck to you all. I’m sure you’ll work it out as you go along and love and learn your way through the experience.

  21. Well, it’s good to know that children’s educational success is a hotter topic to most people than gay marriage. . . . or wait a minute, is that bad? I always get it wrong. Honestly, I think it’s good to get on with things. It’ll be fine.