Because I am too sleep deprived to do the work myself

For almost two years, I have been entertaining you folks.  Week in, week out, through moves and babies and earthquakes.  So, today, it is your turn to give me your thoughts:

The woman who recently gave birth to octuplets, a woman who already had birthed six children, was apparently offered a million dollars to star in hard-core porn.  Please discuss.

28 responses to “Because I am too sleep deprived to do the work myself

  1. I’m sure that there is a lot to be discussed about this woman, the good, the bad, the ugly, but what really concerns me the most about this little snippet of news is, what is going to happen to her children? It’s tragic.

  2. I have to say, when I hear something like this, I wonder what is wrong with society. This woman has made some reproductive choices that some would consider problematic, she becomes famous for them, and someone thinks that is a good reason to sexualize her in this dramatic way? It is truly a representation of how women’s bodies are so often public property–from all the discussion about the ethics of her choice and whether or not she is mentally ill, to offering her work in a way that would further her status as something to be consumed by a voyeuristic public.

  3. Whatever my thoughts about her, and believe me, they are legion, my first concern is for her babies. They deserve a warm home, soft beds, clean clothing, full bellies. People are forgetting that they are 8 tiny people here that have done nothing and do not deserve to pay for the sins of their mother.

  4. I go through a whole range of emotions when I think of her….first and foremost anger, what she has done takes irresponsibility to new heights, she clearly gave ZERO thought to her children (especially the first six). The doctor involved in my opinion should not only lose his license, but should be sued to the tune of the hospital bill I have heard the state of California is being asked to take care of (this at a time when California isn’t even processing tax refund checks). I feel sorry for the 8 babies, undoubtably several will have disabilites due to their mothers selfishness, and the rest will likely remember their childhood as what??? a steady stream of volunteers and hired help? I feel sorry for the first 6 children, who didnt ask for their world to be turned upside down. Its just the saddest story really.

  5. Having inadvertently seen a photo of this woman while pregnant with the octuplets I’m afraid my first thought is EWWW. It’s hard to pin down the rest – but like the others it’s those kids that bother me the most.

  6. This has been an exceptional struggle for me. I am all about supporting children and single parents in need, but Ms. Suleman didn’t accidentally get pregnant, or have a SO run out on her, or have a run of hard luck.

    She sought expensive fertility treatment at least 5 times, as a single parent, with no steady income, no housing, no nothing. She wanted to be a mother, she wanted lots of babies, she wanted, she wanted, she wanted. Nowhere in any interview or story does she seem to reflect about what her children might want or need.

    She states that “once I finish my schooling I know I can provide for them”, but she’s taking classes to become a counselor. That in itself seems problematic, since I am not entirely convinced she doesn’t have some mental health issues of her own, but last time I checked, counselors weren’t exactly rolling in dough. I mean, I’m sure psychologists and psychiatrists with actual doctorates do OK, but even then, you’d have to be pretty high-end to rake in enough cash to support 14 children independently, even without the special needs some of them have.

    So no matter how one looks at it, this woman’s choices will end up costing all of us big time. And what’s worse, she will end up costing her children – emotionally and physically.

    Additionally, I think the doctor who performed this latest procedure is reprehensible and morally bankrupt. If there is any justice he will lose his medical license and be sued by the state of California.

    Finally, as far as Ms. Suleman’s offer of a mil to perform in a porn film goes – I’d like to think that she wouldn’t even consider something like that for her children’s sakes, but given her track record thus far, I won’t hold my breath.

  7. That in itself seems problematic, since I am not entirely convinced she doesn’t have some mental health issues of her own,

    I should have added “that should be addressed before she dispenses advice to others” after the above. Mental health issues absolutely don’t disqualify one from being a good counselor (or anything else). However, if she’s struggling herself I think that should be treated first. And, again, I am speculating based upon her seeming fixation for having large numbers of children without any significant resources to care for them.

  8. Good grief. I love how people who are usually so ready to rage against “intolerance” think they have any ground to stand upon in extreme situations like Nadya Suleman’s. Regardless of whether or not her choices *seem* good, she has fourteen children to deal with, who should be the focus of any efforts to help her.

    I notice no one has felt bad for the Duggar children, who have to sign up on a calendar to get one-on-one time with their parents.

    Statements about her parenting ability are baseless- as none of you has any idea whether she’s a good mother or not. What makes a good mother? The love one has for one’s children. Is someone willing to attempt and measure that?

    Has she made decisions which are hard to agree with? Sure. But who’s to decide? Start imposing restrictions on a woman’s right to reproduce and you’re no different than the average prolifer.

    One of the best things I heard from her was from her interview with Dr. Phil- he was berating her as many people have about her “choices”, and asking her how she planned to be a good mother to all these children. She looked at him and said, “You know what? I have found reserves of strength and grace within me that I never knew I had”. A sentiment any of us who are mothers can identify with.

    No, I don’t agree that she should do hard-core porn, because I find it morally reprehensible. But I sure hope she’s charging an armload for her interviews.

    Cheers!

  9. Yeah, that makes perfect sense to me. The world is exactly screwed up enough for this to not even surprise me.

  10. I agree that she loves her children, but in my opinion she is making choices that are likely to negatively impact them. Continually. It wasn’t bad luck. It wasn’t something that just happened. That’s where my issue and struggle lies here.

    I’m not suggesting for one minute that her children be removed from her, nor that they not receive the support they need. As I said, supporting mothers and children in need IS something I am behind, regardless of whether or not I agree with Ms. Suleman’s choices.

    I think it is a huge gray area, and a giant mess.

  11. I am totally ok with being intolerant of irresponsible behavior.

    I don’t think any of us called for abandoning her and her children and offering them no support. There is a big difference between that and questioning whether it was repsonsible to continue to seek fertility after having 6 kids, when you are trying to finish school (you know so you can SUPPORT the kids you so badly want to have)… my nieghbor has a very close friend with 10 children, the family is over often and a few of the kids have wandered over to play with my kids, they are LOVELY children, a real testament to large families that work, its not necessarily the size of the family that bothers me, its the ” I can’t really afford to do this, but oh well, why the heck not? If I lose my house (thats 23k in arears) okie dokie someone will help, if I can’t pay my 2 million and counting medical bills, okie dokie, someone will help” attitude…..

    I get that she didnt knowingly sign up for 8 more kids, they implanted what 5 or 6? I guess I question when she thought up “worst case scenario” how she felt a single, non-working mother could possibly support 11 or 12 kids? Even if only 2 or 3 had “took” how did she plan to support 8 or 9?

    And by the way my intolerance for putting ones WANTS above ones NEEDS is not directed at this woman only, I really think we would not be in our current messed up situation of an economy if we collectively had been more responsible, if we had delayed our own gratification until we had the resources etc.

  12. The more I hear about this story, the more sorry I feel for the babies. They’re still in the hospital, right? And every day there’s a new story about their mother and how bad she is. I imagine that they’ll always be “those babies” now. I worry that this whole thing will mean they don’t get the ongoing support they need as we all try to teach their mother a lesson. 😦

  13. I think it’s just another aspect of the circus around her. While I also feel for the children, I am angry that she is making a load of $ off them and is the focus of media attention when there are many many babies and children who need healthcare and education and assistance for their families. I think it’s a sick reflection of a capitalist society gone mad with the money that can be made from “reality” tv (ie sensationalism). The people who interview her are just as much at fault as they create & then cater to this appetite under the guise of providing “information.” I just won’t watch it.

  14. Eeew. I wish I didn’t have to share the earth’s depleting resources with people who would atually watch that.

  15. I’d like her to take it just to stick it to the fundamentalist Christians who are into her.

  16. Surely they have to be joking?

  17. I don’t see how the hell else she is going to support all those kids. She’s used to making stupid decisions so this is just one more she could make–and at least this one may help put a roof over those kids’ heads.

  18. There’s no way she can’t take that, right? I mean, degrading, absolutely. And I would NEVER condone such a thing except in this case she did something so irresponsible that 14 young and innocent lives are at stake.

    So my advice to her would be to get a good brazilian or get ready for child services!

  19. Please, I wish she would disappear.

  20. Seriously? That is just wrong. There have been so many of these people over the years, the one who implant so many eggs and end up with tons of babies. I’ve never thought this before, not ever, but this woman did it on purpose. There is just no way around it.

    I feel bad for her kids; the ones she had before and the eight she just had.

  21. I don’t feel I know anything, truly, about this woman, other than she’s had a lot of babies. Who she is and what she’s like is a mystery to me. So I can’t judge her. But I do think it’s a shocking example of the irresponsibility of the media. All they want to do with this situation is turn her and her family into freaks, insinuate a lot of vile stuff about her, which people will buy into very quickly in order to preserve an ideal of motherhood (and the ideal is fine, but surely there are better ways to promote and encourage it), and then try to make a lot of money out of her in various sick ways, aware that the sickness will itself garner most public attention. I don’t think we should listen to all the crap and the hype and the sensationalising. Turn the debate to the difficulties of large families, yes. Give no credence or precious thought to the rest of the rubbish the media wants to stir up.

  22. seems to me that she’s the logical conclusion of our “i want”, reality-tv-fetishizing, fame-addled society…which i think Suleman herself has bought into, btw, not something “the media” has foisted onto her…and that the porn is sort of the next logical chapter in this nightmare. this nexus of celebrity and babies and supermultiples and tawdriness is really already a sort of porn. whether her clothes are on or off, i think she’s already debased herself significantly by her actions, choices, and words.

    the risks she took with her children’s lives and health is to me far more potentially damaging to them then what she does for money…lots of kids are raised by women who work in porn and in the sex industry. not all are horribly damaged. i still think it’s more disturbing that she’s trying to make money off the fact that she got lucky enough to carry all eight to viability in spite of all medical advice that to try would be terribly dangerous to THEM. she’s trying to make her money off their backs, and i guess i’d rather see her make it on her own back than from Oprah, as she demanded.

    at the same time, she really does bring out the ugly in our society and in me…and i hope for the kids’ sakes that she’s able to give them some sort of emotionally healthy childhood. but i’d rather see support and time and helping hands given her than money…and apparently she’s turning those things down, still holding out for cash and a tv show.

  23. Another angle: Who’s crazy enough to pay her $1M? Apparently someone who hasn’t seen how enormous her belly was with 8 babies in it. There’s not enough airbrushing in the world for that.

    Yes, I have other opinions about it, but I’m too tired to say them all.

  24. i’m just going to assume she turned the offer down, and try really hard not to think about it any more

  25. Is that story for real? I have not heard that one yet. My opinion is that the doctors are to blame for this mess. I don’t think she is mentally sound at all, and I’ve never met her in real life, but she seems incredibly fragile to me.

    But, now that the babies are here, they need to be taken care of, and that’s that. I just hope that some child services agencies are camped out in the backyard making sure that all 14 kids are being taken care of properly.

    The porn thing is just gross!

  26. This really doesn’t surprise me, but it’s left me very very confused about my own reactions.

    First reaction – WTF is going on when fertility treatments for people with SIX kids gets funded by the state? I feel that the state should fund only procedures relating to the preservation or maintenance of life. Fertility treatments, in the end, are a choice people make. But paying for people to have children when they can’t even maintain them… is a little too much. I wonder if there should be a law stating that people who don’t earn enough to maintain another child have to fund their fertility treatments themselves. Hard logic, but – if you want to have kids, you’d better be able to take care of them!

    Secondly, most psychologists and counsellors are too caught up in their own issues to be particularly effective. No part of the training of psychologists, psychiatrists and their ilk involves sorting out their OWN messes. Under the present circumstances, I can totally see this woman creating issues for her guinea-pigs rather than solving any.

    Thirdly, if she earns a million dollars at least she’ll be bringing up her kids on her own money. That’s just how cynical I feel about this. Those poor kids deserve better!

  27. Octomom is a freak of nature, and frankly shouldn’t have all those kids.