Ego boost

            This past week, we were in D.C. for spring break.  The boys acquitted themselves quite well, in large part due to the fact that we were staying with my in-laws.  The boys like to create the illusion that they are well behaved.

            They may have been so delightful because we kept separating them from one another.  Both grandparents work, but they took some time off to be with the kids.  Lilah declared herself my appendage, but the boys happily trooped off with one or the other of their grandparents for some quality one-on-one. I am unused to such a high adult/child ratio and it felt almost like a vacation.

            One afternoon, I was reading to Benjamin on the couch while Zach hung with my mother-in-law in the kitchen.  Ben, in a rare display of fondness for his mother, was snuggled up close.  He reached over to pat my abdomen.

            “Mommy, you got a baby in your belly?” he asked, raising his voice at the end in his exaggerated-question tone.

            “No, Benjamin, I don’t have a baby in my belly.”

            He kept prodding my post-partum pudge.  “You got a ball in your belly?”

            “No, sweetie.  I don’t have a ball in my belly.”

            “Why your belly so big?” he wanted to know.

            Ever so helpful, Zachary called out from the next room, “Because she ate too much!”

            My mother-in-law did not say a word. 

26 responses to “Ego boost

  1. Yeah, thanks kids. P has told me that my poops (boobs) are “too big”. No shit. Such wee charmers.

  2. oh, the little darlings…

  3. Hahahahahahahahahah!

    Wait. Is it OK to laugh?

    I laugh only because I’ve been there.

  4. MQ likes to praise my “squishy tummy” and its use as a pillow

  5. “Because I ate the last child who said my belly was too big”.

  6. Ah, leave it to the little ones!

    I am not overly endowed, but my mother is a different story altogether. One time my daughter, when she was little, asked my mom, “Gram, how’d you blow those things up?”


  7. My daughter used to say that to my husband, before he lost a lot of weight. I accused him of overreacting to a child’s perspective.

    Then she said it to me…

  8. One of my friend’s kids used to like to tell me how much older I looked than her mom’s other friends. I tried to accept it gracefully, but… ouch!

    My son told our neighbor that his ears were really big over the weekend. Thankfully, the guy answered with “Hey… Those are fighting words! And you… you… have a black t-shirt!”

  9. I know the feeling.
    I was trying to decide what to wear the other day while my 2.5 year-old provided unsolicited advice.
    “Mom, that’s to small,” as I hold up a pre-pregnancy shirt.
    “How about this?” as he tugs on the sleeve of a maternity shirt.
    Gee, thanks…

  10. Uhhh…yeah…my boys have quite a knack for saying these things too….

    It’s especially nice when they say things like this to other people (like complete and total strangers…)

    That’s a lot of fun too!!! 😉

  11. Hmm. Maybe I DON’T want kids. (Kidding. I’m kidding. ;)) Something tells me that it’s only hilarious when it happens to someone else, though, you know? Ha!

    (Slightly off-topic, but Mel Brooks once said, “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” Truer words, truer words . . . )

  12. A wise woman always holds her counsel.


  13. Oh dear. My own 4-year-old likes to tell me how much she likes my ‘squishy tummy’. Umm…thanks?

  14. Trying (failing) not to laugh.

    A couple of weeks ago, I was folding laundry, and my daughter said “Your jeans are BIG!”

    I’ve so been there.

  15. I’m currently afraid to leave my house. I just know that one of these days some stranger is going to say “When are you due?” and then I will cry.

  16. that happened to me last week.

    clearly my diet isn’t working.


  17. People come in different shapes and sizes–and having babies affects that. It’s funny but mainly because adults have such odd ideas about how those bodies should look.

  18. Kids are so cute! No, really…

  19. My son said “I loooove your boobies. They’re so soft and hangy-down, like bunny-rabbit ears….”

  20. I wish I could assure you that they become more sensitive as they get older. But alas, the target of their comments merely shifts. Instead of asking pointed questions about our bodies they make comments about how oddly dated is our perspective.

  21. LOL Kids are so annoyingly honest! That reminds me of this one time when I worked in a first grade classroom, this one little boy Peter looked at my stomach and said, “Miss Mann, your stomach is so big! What did you have for lunch?” When I told him I had had lasagna, he looked at me and said, “It must have been a BIG lasagna!”

  22. Next the kids need to ask your m-i-l if she’s the oldest person on earth. Or something to that degree.

    While you keep very, very quiet.

    So true about what happens when siblings are separated from each other… amazing, actually.

  23. ahhh, if it makes you feel better, my niece sent me a note that said “your old picture was pretty, your new picture is pretty….but FAT.”

  24. That’s why I went out to work. 😉 I really wanted a little bit of the day in which I felt the warm glow of respect….

  25. I’m still getting comments from the big boy about my belly. It’s frustrating. Especially when I actually CAN wear some pre-pg pants … but there’s that stubborn roll that spills over. *sigh*

    Glad you had a good visit. We just got back from east coast too. Update soon.

  26. Love these “honest” moments from the kids. “I think you’re not that chubby anymore, Mama,” Eleanor said to me the other day, “it’s just that you have too much extra skin flopping around your middle.” I hate that she’s exactly right. (At least we didn’t have an audience for that conversation).