To my husband,
I know that you have pretty much given up buying me gifts. Truly, I don’t blame you. I am a pain in the ass to shop for, mostly because there is so little I appreciate. I have tried to cut sugar out of my life, so you can’t buy me chocolates unless they are very dark chocolate. But, the chocolate has to be fair trade because any other chocolate makes me feel like I am eating little child-slaves. I don’t like getting cut flowers because all I can think about is the resources that went into growing and delivering them. I seem to be missing the jewels gene, which is just as well, because if you spent money on gems in this economy I’d be seriously pissed off.
Once upon a time, I convinced you to buy me books. “I’m reading biographies,” I told you. “Just get me an interesting biography.” By “interesting,” I did not mean 973 pages on Hans Christian Andersen, who had about the most boring life of any writer.
If you were on Goodreads, you could check out my “to read” list and decide what to get me for Mother’s Day. I did suggest that to you, but since it took you until last month to join Facebook, I am not holding out hope you’ll be joining any other social networking sites anytime soon.
So, let me be direct. I would like to read something by Margaret Diehl. Her books are out of print. Go to Alibris. (The rest of you can click on her name and get to her blog.) I also want to read Mama, Ph.D. and The Bitch in the House, both very good choices for mother’s day. Finally, if you’d like to stoke my homesickness for Philly, get me LOVE Park, by Jim Zervanos. You’ll remember that I taught with him my very first year of teaching, and I’d love to read his first book which, given the title, is most likely set in Philadelphia.
But, um, if you buy me a new book, could you try to go through an independent bookstore?
Love,
Your Wife
Wheels on the bus 
Excellent gifts–and with good instructions. Just in case you’d like chocolate with that, I’d recommend Camino which is free trade and if he gets you the plain dark chocolate that is 70% cocoa, there is very little sugar in it. 🙂
I did not know Margaret Diehl was out of print. Oh, and I dunno about giving up chocolate – granted, too much is bad, but a little bit of chocolate banishes ‘The Bitch in the House.’ 😉 At least in my house.
This makes me wonder, where are all the husband of a blogger blogs. Matt needs to be informed of how normal I am…he never believes me. Maybe if he reads it on the internet?
Good call! I have just received in the post Mama, PhD, which I saw on your Good Reads to-be-read selection and could not resist. It looks great (although I’ve only flicked through) and wanted to thank you in any case for putting the word out on it.
Do hope you get something that you really want for Mother’s Day.
Good idea… you might want to just cut out the middle man and go buy something for yourself, give it to him, and let him wrap it and buy you a card!
If I was a Facebook person, I’d befriend him and give him your list and a reminder of what day is Mother’s Day 😉
I hope you get exactly what you want!!
This made me laugh, Em.
I hope he finds that indie bookstore and brings home the motherlode of Emily Reading Wants.
I wish my wife would post all of her Mother’s Day desires on the Internet. I’m the worst gift giver on the planet.
By the way, I really like the blog and I’m glad I stumbled upon your little corner of the Internet.
At least the gift won’t be lacking in the romance of spontaneity.
🙂
I guess one good thing about being single is no gifts I don’t want.
My mother always tells my father what he bought her for whatever occasion as she has been buying them for herself for an eternity
I hope he reads your blog?
Lucky husband to be given such clear instructions! Hope you get what you asked for – and Happy Mother’s Day in advance!
I’m totally missing the jewel gene too! Hope you get just what you want.
You get presents for Mother’s Day? Huh.
Thanks for coming to my blog. I forgot to say I loved your piece on Mothers Day.