Eight years, four cities, three kids, and 627 pancakes

          We have these friends who, every month, celebrate their monthiversary together.  They go out every single month for the same cuisine they had on their very first date.  For the last ninety-two months.  It’s very romantic, in a Visa commercial kind of way. 

            It’s also pretty funny for those of us here in the cheap seats.

            You see, I cannot imagine actually going out with my husband once a month.  Hell, I’d settle for being in the same city once a year on our anniversary.  Or maybe every other year; no sense aiming too high.

            My favorite was 2004, our third anniversary. I was five months pregnant with Zachary, and I had bleeding the night before, so the doctor had me stay overnight in the hospital as a precaution.  Hence, I spent my third anniversary in a hospital room in Philly while my husband was stranded on a business trip in Nevada.  It was sort of like a candlelit dinner except with crappy food, fluorescent lights, and a monitor on my belly.

            I am supposed to be upset that we are not together for our anniversary, according to Them, whomever They might be.  But, pray tell, at whom shall I get upset?  My husband, who is away from his family, working late nights, in order to support us?  Or perhaps the structure of corporate America?  Or maybe the clients who have the gall to be located at a distance?

            Truth be told, I am not upset.  Romance is not hinged on some arbitrary date that is only our anniversary by the standards of the Gregorian calendar, which anyway is off by something like 26 seconds each year.  Who cares if we are not together each year on the 20th of May? 

            Romance is J hanging out the wash, even though he would rather use the drier, because I want to conserve electricity.  Romance is him taking my car to be washed because he knows I will never get around to it and it hasn’t rained in Los Angeles since three days after the Spanish Inquisition.  Romance is putting on a new toilet lid that does not bang down before our au pair arrived because he doesn’t want her to wake me up if she uses the bathroom in the night.  Most of all, romance is still laughing together, albeit mostly at our children.

            J will tell you I am the least sentimental person out there.  He, on the other hand, cries at Kleenex commercials (and every time he watches An Officer and a Gentleman).  I think this post proves the contrary. Clearly, I am totally the mawkish type, oozing the schmaltz all over the internet.

            So, happy anniversary, honey.  We made it past the seven-year itch.  Don’t forget to call the cable company.

24 responses to “Eight years, four cities, three kids, and 627 pancakes

  1. I vote for blaming the structure of corporate America. But I agree, arbitrary dates are meaningless. The year Angus had broken his femur and I was four months pregnant with Eve, my Dad and mother-in-law were in town to help, so my husband and I were going out. As we were about to leave, his Mom said “happy Anniversary” and we said “huh?” My Dad said “isn’t that why you’re going out?”. No. We were going out because the stars had aligned and it was possible, and we had survived three weeks with a broken-legged toddler and a pregnant me and were still speaking to each other. Celebrate the stuff that means something, right?

  2. I totally agree! My husband and I have missed various anniversarys, holidays, birthdays, etc. over the almost 5 years we’ve been married…but I kind of feel like we celebrate everyday, just b/c we’ve made it through everything together and still kind of like each other. Great post!

  3. are you saying that pancakes were your first meal with your hubby?

    happy anniversary.

  4. Happy Anniversary to you guys.

    Here’s hoping for a nice pancake dinner in the same city and a cable guy who actually shows up. Cheers!

  5. This is why I love you. Seriously. Never been married, but the nicest thing a serious bf ever did for me? Took my car to get the oil changed. More than once. Because I just hate doing it. Neither one of us could remember where we went on our first date, but it was the day-to-day that mattered. I hope I marry someone like that. I hope I have something like you have.

    Happy anniversary to you and J!!

  6. Romance is what you make of it. What’s personal for you. “They” whoever the hell they are, need to grow up. Because nothing is more romantic than hanging out with your sleeping croupy kids in a steamy bathroom at 2am with your spouse, laughing at your sons sticking up hair.

    That is I believe how I spent my anniversary. Happy anniversary Emily. 🙂

  7. Happy Anniversary!

    And I hear you. Although I have a tendency toward sentimentality, I’ve learned to give it up out of necessity. Kids and work and all that jazz will do it to you. And at the end of the day I will take the man who works hard for his family and cleans my kitchen every night over an arbitrary celebration.

  8. Amen sister. Romance is so much more than contrived Hallmark moments.

    Happy Anniversary!

  9. lifeineden

    If I weren’t older, I’d wonder if we were separated at birth. When we were young and first married we pledged to do a little weekend every year for our anniversary — that lasted 2 years. It wasn’t even having kids that messed it up. Now I generally get a card and flowers from the grocery store IF he has the chance. And really I’d rather he just come HOME to help me. I too am the least romantic creature on earth.

    Happy Anniversary!

  10. happy anniversary you.

  11. I cry over telephone commercials–but I’m totally with you on romance.

  12. I laugh because I understand.

  13. All the flowers in the world don’t mean squat next to one truly thoughtful gesture. That thing with the toilet seat is love.

  14. monthly? MONTHLY? Christ, I’d have to kill myself.

  15. magpiemusing

    Happy anniversary!

  16. I spent one of our anniversaries pregnant and in the hospital, too! We usually have relatives visiting us on our anniversary, it seems like, too. We aren’t big celebrators of things in general, either.

  17. Happy anniversary Emily! Making it past the 7-year-itch really is a hell of an achievement 🙂

  18. Happy Anniversary. Sounds like you caught a good one.

  19. Happy Anniversary!
    I totally agree that arbitrary dates are overrated :-).

  20. Happy Anniversary! Have you finally managed to make it to the same coordinate point location this year? I think romance is only romantic when it’s spontaneous, so monthly dinners would be wasted on me, alas. If my husband told me he wanted to return to the same place and eat the same meal on a monthly basis, I somehow wouldn’t be able to equate that with a lovingly-held and uncontrollable urge to show me a magnificent time.

  21. CONGRATS! Here’s hoping you get a night out, since you have live-in help and all…

  22. Happy Anniversary!!! Love the post.

  23. Happy anniversary. I’ll skip the jewelry any day and always opt for the guy who gets up to give the kids breakfast…

  24. Happy belated anniversary! Since we’ve been together 25 years and married 14, the husband and I never even remember our anniversary.

    Last year was the first time I remembered, and I was away, so I called him to tell him, and we both cracked up that the first time I remember is when I’m down the Cape with the girls.