I can’t believe it myself

            Yesterday was my two-year blogoversary, and if I have earned anything in the past 24 months, it is that one should not bother to post anything on Memorial Day, because there are only three people and a crocus reading blogs on the Monday of a holiday weekend.  Perforce, I have saved this post for today, when someone might actually see it.

            I think we can safely label this a mommy blog, given the amount of time I have devoted to writing about excrement – it won’t come, it won’t go in the toilet, it comes to one child while another is having a tantrum and I am feeding the third, and on and on and on.  Poop is a giant part of my life right now – Benjamin needs less fruit and more in the form of bananas; Lilah is not allowed to have any bananas and needs regular dosings of spinach and prune juice; how the hell does Zach manage to poop at all, given that he eats nothing but bread; and why is my husband always away from home when all three children do it at the same time?

            There is more to my mothering than wiping asses, of course.  I had to interrupt writing this post to go tend to the kidney beans I was cooking on the stove, because Benjamin loves them there kidney beans and I am trying to cut us back on canned goods (BPA), processed foods (too much soy), sugar (because it is crazy making), and salt (duh).  Oh, and meat.  Of course, considering the aforementioned poop, perhaps I should also be cutting Benjamin back on beans.

            However, the reason I blog is that, in addition to being very patient with my need to tell innumerable stories about my children, this is the place where people recognize me as a person beyond my kids.  A year ago, I posted that I was beginning to feel like a writer.  Now, I feel less like one.  The economy has tanked, and the book isn’t getting placed anytime soon.  I did have two articles accepted last week, a tiny start in the scaffolding I will need to construct to scale the side of the publishing world and drop my manuscript in from the top-story window.  Nonetheless, in most of my life, I feel like a sham claiming to be a writer.  Y’all help me retain a shred of that delusion, for which I should either thank you or send you a bill for the anti-hallucinatory drugs I clearly need.

            Twitter annoyed me, Facebook is a nice way to stay in touch with friends, my television sits dormant when my husband is out of town except for a daily episode of The Wonder Pets, I am still trying to figure out how to use my iphone for musical purposes, and my children have no toys that light up or make sounds. (We like to make the kids do the playing.)  Hell, I don’t even turn the lights on in my house or use the dryer (we love in Southern California; that’s what sunshine is for).  I’m just one sledgehammer away from being a Luddite.  But, blogging?  Blogging sustains me and helps me hold onto my identity.

            And so I thank you, once again, for bearing with me and sticking around, even though I never comment as much as I would like on your blogs.  I thank you for holding my hand through my excruciating parenting moments.  I thank you for reading my twelve gazillion posts on Proposition 8, even though you live in Massachusetts.  I thank you for seeing me as a person, not just a set of lactating mammary glands and a minivan.

            As my blogoversary gift, please leave a comment today, even if you never have or are not the commenting type.  Tell me something interesting about you: maybe the title of your favorite book, which baseball team you root for, the greatest television theme song, or the best use for five frozen jars of kidney beans.  Or just say “hi.”

            Let’s do it again next year.

57 responses to “I can’t believe it myself

  1. I’m not feeling very interesting right now. I’m actually overwhelmed by poop myself. The cat has diarrhea, the toddler is still insanely anal retentive.

  2. Hi! Congrats on your 2-year blogoversary — I’m glad you’re out there writing!

  3. Congratulations!!

    I couldn’t ever pick a favorite book, but 3 that I love are One Hundred Years of Solitude, Angle of Repose, and The Brothers Karamazov.

    The only thing I know how to do with kidney beans is make chili.

  4. Emily, Congrats on your 2-year blogoversary. I enjoy reading your writing and thereby seeing your thoughts. Favorite books — Main Street by Sinclair Lewis, El coronel no tiene quien le escriba by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and The Politics of Income Inequality in the United States by Nathan Kelly (well, he is my husband so maybe I am biased, but if you are in for a political scientist’s take on inequality, it is a very enlightening read.) I would also say brothers K but Amy stole it. And on the kidney beans, well bean salad or chili, of course.

  5. Happy Anniversary!

    Something about me…I would really rather be outside, always…but might need to take my laptop with me on occasion.

  6. Happy Blog’oversary.

    My non-interesting new mantra, which will start in just under two weeks: “Get out, get out, get out, get out…” 😉

    I don’t expect it to work of course; heck, my toddlers don’t listen to me, why should the baby?

  7. Hello & congrats! Glad you’re here, writing about mothering and not about mothering.

    I’ve never seen the show, but the theme song to “My Mother the Car” has to be one of my favorites ever. I love hot non sequitur action.

  8. happy anniversary – so glad I found your blog!

    My favorite book of all time is The Power of One – LOVE Bryce! What an author – love every single one of his books!

    Best tv theme song – without a doubt Suicide is painless from MASH

    happy celebrating!

  9. Happy two years!

  10. Something about me? I have a steel plate in my right arm from a monkey bar accident when I was 11.

    And while I’m Canadian, I’m waiting with baited breath to hear the Prop 8 verdict. This is important, no matter where you live!

  11. lifeineden

    Happy 2 years indeed! You can tell me about the poop in your life anytime.

  12. Hola and felicitaciones on your two-year milestone. Here’s hoping this year will bring you things you hadn’t expected but which were worth the wait!

  13. Has it only been two years?

    Has it already been two years?

    Go Red Sox!

  14. Happy 2 years!!

    I’m jealous of your line-drying. When I lived in Madrid I could almost begin to retrieve the first piece after hanging the last! In humid Tennessee the air would add moisture and clothes would never dry.

    A little-known fact about me-One summer I taught English in Spain’s Ministry of Defense.

  15. Happy Blogoversary!

    About me? I was once a zookeepr! 🙂

  16. I could never pick a favorite book, but right now I’m reading The Tender Bar and I’m loving it!

    Congrats on your blogoversary, hope I get to 2 years!

  17. Congratulations on getting those articles accepted & happy two years blogging.

    Among my favorite books (and I have tons) is Anne Fadiman’s The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down.

  18. Happy 2nd Bloggy Anniversary! Mine was last week. I forgot until I saw your post because we started blogging right around the same time.

    I think you’re an amazingly gifted writer and I know that scaffolding will be up and hoisting your book to its rightful place in literary history before you know it.

    I don’t know how interesting this is, but one of my fondest memories is swimming with wild dolphins at a place in Australia called Monkey Mia.

  19. Happy blogaversary Emily!

    Today is my 200th post, which I didn’t actually write, but put up a guest poster for. Because I am awesome like that. 🙂

    I always wanted to line dry my sheets, but couldn’t because of asthma. But oh how lovely they smell.

  20. Glad you are still around. 🙂

    ~*

  21. Wow, two years! Hooray!

    Something new and interesting about me? My husband is coming HOME! Very soon. 🙂

  22. congrats, first of all and I too often feel like I’m less of a writer and more of a woman whose job it is to constantly want to get paid to write.

    Glad your here.

    Something interesting about me: I love to do jigsaw puzzles. how is that for crazy?

  23. Ha, I just finished dishing out kidney beans myself.

    And I’m still here, whether I comment or not.

  24. I make the best pumpkin bread you have ever tasted. It’s beyond decadent and into the realm of downright sinful.

    Congrats on the ‘versary!

  25. Happy 2nd blogiversary here – and congrats on your new “baby,” your books blog! I contribute to a moms’ blog, but I’m not sure I really am a mom blogger. I’m not sure I’m a true book blogger either, but I’ll keep blogging about books too. Oh, what the hell – who needs a niche, anyway?

    It’s impossible for me to choose ONE favorite book, but my favorite so far this year is “The Uncommon Reader,” a novella by Alan Bennett.

  26. Hey Emily! Happy 2nd!

    You are one of the 2 or 3 extremely talented writers that I follow. It really doesn’t matter what you write about, you just write so beautifully, even about poop. Your talent is inspiring. Yet you are so refreshingly down to earth.

    Me? I blog in my sleep. Yep, that’s right. I dream about the fabulous blog posts I will write, how they sound, how they look – and then never get around to writing them. I also write more and better when I am feeling down/negative/sad. I’m a strange chick.

  27. Happy blogiversary Em!
    Thank you for lighting a fire under my ass. I might never have started blogging quite as much or in the direction I’m going.

    If you aren’t a writer, then I don’t know who is.

  28. happy blogoversary indeed.

    and good luck with the scaling. you have the writing chops…i’m starting to understand that there’s a whole business aspect to that world too, but for whatever reason it scares me less than it would have before blogging. perhaps b/c blogging feeds me as it does you, is both the place i can blather on about my kids and also get reflections of self back as more than just mom. it’s definitely where i’ve finally found other people like me – like uh, you – who are both mom and more, who do words and ideas and all that good stuff in ways that make me feel less lonely in the world.

  29. I like the Mets, and you should make bean salad.

  30. Happy still writing and haven’t strangled your children day. Any article accepted any time anywhere is reason for celebration. I’m happy to have you as a blog friend (blend? frog).

    I can say ‘pillow’ and ‘egg’ in five languages.

  31. You’re a writer once more than two other people are reading. The book thing is agonizing. I went through two near misses before selling my first book and had one horrifying near miss after that. The struggle just makes it feel better when it happens. (Remind me of that when I’m collecting rejection letters for my novel).

  32. Happy Blogiversary and way to go on the articles! The irises are blooming in our garden and I think we are finally nit-free!

  33. I was told that I should become a Chicken Veterinarian. Or a bricklayer.

  34. Happy Blogoversary! I love your blog and I’m sure you’ll make your way just fine.

    Hmm, something interesting…. I once had a tarantula cross my path in the jungle in Costa Rica.

    And I love beans and rice, with a little salsa and cheese mixed in.

  35. 12ontheinside

    Happy blogiversary. The greatest TV theme song is a tough one. Greatest American Hero? The Love Boat? Ah, such fabulous hundreds I could mention. However, it is very clear what the best use for 5 frozeen jars of kidney beans would be – tie them all together to make a boat anchor.

  36. planningdoesntwork

    I certainly view you as a writer. The thought of your lactating mammary glands has never even crossed my mind.

  37. Happy anniversary. I found your blog through the wordpress homepage randomly one day, and since then it has been like a good book I can’t put down, even though I am not the typical mommyblog audience–I don’t have kids, and I am not sure whether they will be part of my future. I’m sad your book isn’t making it out yet, because I would have bought it.

    The most interesting thing about me this week is my weekend plans–rock climbing, and going to have a choli made to fit my celtic-stock frame, so I don’t embarrass my friend at her wedding.

  38. Happy two years! It looks like I will be coming back to LA in another month or so and this time I am totally arranging a police escort so that I can gaze upon … er, meet you in person.

  39. Congrats on the two years! I’d sure miss reading you if you weren’t around. Bummer about the book, but I hope you find a buyer for it soon because I’m sure we all would love to read it.

    My favorite book is Jane Eyre. My favorite thing to do with kidney beans is to make Mexican Lasagna. Favorite TV theme song is … I guess the one from NCIS. Does it count if you only ever watch it through iTunes?

  40. i wondered when I read your title if you were thinking of the Greatest American Hero theme song, but as I read the end of your post, I know that you were. 😉 Look at what’s happened to me….

    so glad you’re writing here.

  41. Happy blogiversary – you have one of the most distinctive voices in the blogosphere and our reading lives would be much the poorer without you.

    As for me, yesterday sucked. The writing course I’m doing is taking my confidence away rather than building it up and I might just quit. So yup, know what you mean about feeling like a sham, although I don’t think it’s true in your case.

  42. A writer is someone who writes. I write therefore I am a writer. I love Chuck. You may already know this about me. Shopping is not all bad, you know. And if you don’t like poop, don’t get an old cat. There should be a word for when three kids poop at the same time, like a Triple Decker or something. Happy anniversary!

  43. Pingback: But wait… (part one) « Wheels on the bus

  44. I saw “Night at the Museum 2” this weekend with the boys. It wasn’t nearly as good as the first one. Disappointing.

    Happy Blogoversary, E.!

  45. LOL… Three people and a crocus!!! 😀

  46. Happy blogiversary Emily!

    I got my bellybutton pierced waaayyyy before it was cool. And I’m a little slap-happy right now from traveling.

  47. You’re right. No one reads anything on a holiday Monday. Happy blogiversary.

  48. Hey, congrats on the two years and the two articles! I just passed my one-year blogoversary last week. I can’t imagine coming up with enough stuff to write about for another whole year, but who knows.

    Oh, and I read blogs on Monday.

  49. I’m so excited about your articles! (Sorry to show up two days late for the news…my blog reader languishes…) You’ll tell us where and when we can find them?

  50. Happy belated blogoversary!

  51. Belated, but genuine, best wishes for your blog anniversary. (I live in in Illinois; couldn’t write “Blogoversary” without seeing images of our former govenrnor.)

  52. Hi. 🙂

    One thing: I never read blogs until after I started my own. And still, I like to pretend I’m not a completely arrogant git.

    (ditto to suicide is painless as the best theme song evar)

  53. ahoy! Happy two years!

  54. “Sophie’s Choice” is probably my favorite book.

    And hey, hi.

  55. Obviously I’m catching up on posts. 🙂

    Happy 2 years!

  56. Congrats! Remember, you are a writer because you write. Feel like one. You have every right to.

  57. 1) I see you as a person — an awesome, inspiring person.
    2) Happy anniversary of your blog. You know I read it in batches, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy it any less.
    3) You’re an incredible writer, and good things are coming your way. I’m sure of it.
    4) Talk about being a Luddite: this is my first comment on a blog ever! (A little anniversary gift for you!)