I am still recovering from the project I worked on last week, so I don’t have the stamina for a real post, perhaps one on Zachary’s fear he is about to become homeless or Lilah’s sudden graduation to bookworm.  And I have sucked at visiting your blogs, too, in part due to the high fevers that have ravaged our home in recent days.  Instead, I offer you snippets from a conversation I had this morning with my best friend.  As is so often the case, we asked each other’s advice.

1)   If someone sent you an email about a playdate, inviting your child to her house at a particular time on a particular day, saying you could either drop off the kid or stay, which of the following would be the least appropriate response:

  1. We can’t do that day.  How about a different day (suggesting a different day)?
  2. My child isn’t ready for a drop-off playdate.  I think I’ll come along.
  3. It is hard to get to your house because of (another child, work, no car).  Would you mind coming here?
  4. Let’s meet at a playground.

    2)   We are always generous with gifts for the kids’ teachers.  This year, the parents are doing a group gift, but they asked us for a lot less money than we normally give.  What should we do?

    3)   If you were making pancakes and the recipe called for 2 ½ cups milk but you had only 2 cups of milk, what would you substitute for the last half-cup: water or breastmilk?

    OK, people.  Go ahead.  Tell me (and her) what you have to say on these three pressing issues.  And remember, while I got off the phone to separate two squabbling boys, she got off the phone to do human rights work, so only one of us is shallow and vapid.

    16 responses to “Poll

    1. 1) number four.
      2) go with it and enjoy the savings.
      3) breastmilk is scarce around here. water.

    2. Four, definitely.

      Give what was asked and be glad that was done.

      I’d probably use less flour.

    3. 1) I don’t there’s anything wrong with any of those. I can’t pick a least appropriate. I probably would not say #3 because I don’t like having other people’s kids in my house.
      2) Enjoy the savings.
      3) I would use breastmilk if I had it on tap.

    4. #4.
      Enjoy the savings.
      Water!!! Or, less flour.

      I’m about to come out to So Cal! If only you lived just a wee bit Souther.

    5. Least appropriate- maybe #4

      Go with it. Apart from the savings, one thing fewer on your todo list.

      Hmm if you go with breastmilk, just don’t tell anyone.

      What a great idea, though! I wish I had thought of that before throwing milk away with my first son! (for the record, he refused the bottle, I couldn’t donate it, and he wasn’t at cereal-eating age yet…)

    6. 1) I think they’re all appropriate & considerate, actually.

      2) I agree – enjoy the savings.. or if you really feel like you want to do/give more donate some books to the school library. (Or something along those lines.)

      3)Ummm… water.

    7. 1. I think all of your responses are perfectly appropriate.

      2. Donate the amount the other parents are giving. If it seems ridiculously small, maybe you could discreetly question whomever is heading up the gifting as to why this amount was selected.

      3. We have no breastmilk in our house and I’m not sure I could borrow any, so water for us. 😉 But you know, it’s your pancakes. There’s nothing gross about using your breastmilk in them.

    8. I’ll play!

      1. Number 4 would be the least appropriate from the choices; but it might even be appropriate in some circumstances.

      2. Go with the program.

      3. Water. Or yogurt, seeing as we always have that in the house. Sadly, even though I’m about to give birth again, I don’t foresee much in the way of breastmilk.

    9. Tell me about fevers- my husband is on his second round of illness in three weeks, this time it’s the flu.


      1) They’re all fair game, as far as I’m concerned, but I guess changing the venue might be the most egregious.

      2) Just give the amount they asked.

      3) Um, eww, water. (I never wanted to taste my own breast milk.)

    10. 1) number four. she’s suggested a playdate at her home, which is nice. if she’s said you can stay, you don’t have to say your child isn’t ready, just stay. Asking if she wants to come to you instead should be fine, especially when you have younger children.

      2)I personally would probably donate the asked amount and then buy a small personal gift also, but I tend to overthink and overdo. It makes sense the asked-for amount would be less, since so many more people are contributing.

      3)water, since it’s only half a cup, and I had trouble pumping enough for the baby, let alone miscellaneous cooking needs. My best friend tasted my breast milk and said it was much better than hers. Is that weird?

    11. 1) I don’t really see a problem with any of those, depending on circumstances. I suppose I might think it odd for someone not to want to come to my house, except in my case I live way the hell out in the middle of nowhere, so few people visit.

      2) I like the idea of donating the extra amount.

      3) Water. I can’t quite see cooking with breastmilk.

    12. 1) I don’t see any serious issues with any of those responses, but forced to choose I pick #4

      2) Donate extra if you can / feel moved to

      3) I might just omit the extra 1/2 cup, bump up the other liquids, and use a little less flour. Also, my cake might suck.

    13. 1. I agree with those who said they are all good responses, but I don’t have kids so … grain o’ salt. sounds like moms have complicated interactions on behalf of their offspring that I can’t begin to fathom.
      2. Give the amount they are asking for and, if you really want to, give a little something personally to quiet your soul.
      3. I’m fascinated by the idea of breast milk in baking, though I might not offer those pancakes to visitors.

      Now, if only we all had ‘important’ work to do. sigh.

    14. Umm, I think all the responses are okay. As for the teacher, I’d give the amount of money that was requested but get my child to make an accompanying gift – little drawing or a card or some such. As for the pancakes, I’d scale down the recipe. Oh and a final thought – human rights issues vs dealing with squabbling children – really, IS there a difference?

    15. 1) none of those responses sounds strange to me.
      2) wouldn’t give it a second thought if someone else was in charge but maybe buy a separate gift if it felt appropriate for that particular teacher.
      4) I would substitute yogurt or ricotta or cream for milk and if I was out of them, them I would use less flour.
      5) and the naming cups idea is a good one.

    16. 1) Any one of those would work! Telling them your child isn’t ready for a drop-off playdate and asking to either come along, meet them somewhere, or have them come to your house, would be perfect.

      2) Give the money for the group gift, and then have your child make a special card for the teacher, including a gift card for a book store or teacher supply store for the difference of the money.

      3) Uh… water, for sure! And just use lots of syrup I guess.