For a very long time, my husband has been working too hard.  He travels every week.  He schedules vacations and then works right through them.  He doesn’t get to see his kids during the week.  He has no set schedule and no set location, so he cannot get on an exercise routine, sleep regular hours, or eat right.

Oh, sure, there was always a reason – he needed to sell work or he had sold work and now he needed to deliver on it.  I staged an intervention in March.  “Look,” I said, “if the job really requires this kind of life, then the job sucks.”  That’s the supportive wife in me talking there.

From that conversation came the realization that, hey, he could actually look for a new job.  One that would allow him to work, say, sixty hours a week and travel only 25% of the time.  It’s not like we were asking for a sinecure; we just thought that perhaps his body deserved a chance to figure out which time zone it is in.

He began looking for a job.  Two weeks ago he was offered a very good one.  So, we are moving.

This job will allow us to live someplace with a lower cost of living that is closer to family.  We will be leaving Los Angeles, which has been a completely unpleasant place to live.  And J will be home three weeks out of the month.  The children will *gasp* see their father on a daily basis.  The funny thing about it is that we had lived the other way for so long, we just didn’t realize how untenable the situation was until another way of doing things presented itself.

The truck comes on Monday to take our stuff away, and then I will spend a few lovely days in an empty house with the kids.  On Saturday, we’ll all fly east to stay with family until our stuff catches up with us around Thanksgiving.  The move is happening very quickly in part because the company would like my husband to start but also because Zachary has been quite unhappy in school this year.  We’re not sure what the problem is, but if we’re transitioning him out anyway, we may as well do it quickly.

There are a few really sad byproducts.  Zachary will need to start over as a white belt in a new karate studio.  Lilah will leave behind all that fresh fruit she so adores.  And poor Benjamin will leave the teachers who rock his world.  But there will be teachers in the next place, too.  And we will leave W, who is a remarkably good friend.  Leaving her is very sad, but I am grateful we got a chance to reconnect.

So, if you don’t hear from me over the next couple of weeks, do not worry.  I am on my way to a better place.

21 responses to “Why

  1. It’s crazy that Jersey is a lower cost of living than anywhere! I grew up there and now live in Philly.

    Wishing you a safe, sane move!

  2. When my husband’s hours were cut I thought it was a god-send. By month 8 it was nerve racking. He would make the kids go up and change their clothes before school (only collared shirts for you!….think Ms. Crawford) He was in my way and would “do” the wash. Now, he was only working 30 hours per week at that time (thankfully he has a FT new job) and the kids no longer dress for school like they are going to church.

    I wish you the best of luck. Especially with that new Govenor. Yeck.

  3. Happy for you. There will probably be some different problems associated with learning to actually live with each other on a daily basis, but at least they’ll be new ones (exciting! fun!). Sounds like you’re moving in a good direction. And congratulations on actually changing things — some people don’t have the courage or energy to make a leap even when the current situation is miserable.

  4. Hooray.

  5. Impressive, it didn’t even occur to me that he was switching jobs! duh. Glad he found something so wonderful for you all so quickly.

    Sidenote — you may not have to go back to white belt. In Santa Monica we were at USSD which is a very small organization in terms of a national scale. Our only choices here were Tae Kwon Do, whereas before his karate was more Kung Fu based. Anyway, we found a great dojo and they were actually willing to let him stay at yellow, master the differences and then move forward but it might take longer. Since it was only a one belt drop to white, we opted to start over and give him more tests to be more encouraged.

    gah that was long!

  6. This sounds like it’s going to make such a huge difference in everyone’s life. I’m thrilled for you.

    And maybe even (if you’re into that sort of thing — which you may very well not be) we could meet up, as they say, IRL. Because ever since I started reading your blog, I’ve thought that you were one of the bloggers I’d like most to meet. But, really, I understand if you don’t do meet ups.

  7. i’m glad it will be a good move for you!

  8. Good luck and very best wishes for you all as you start this new chapter.

  9. Good luck and safe travels Emily. This sounds like a very good thing!

  10. Good luck and safe travels.

  11. I’m so happy to hear how much of a very good thing this move is presenting itself to be. Enjoy the LA sunshine while you have it and have a safe transition. Good luck!

  12. Glad to hear it. I hope the move goes smoothly and that you are soon settled.

  13. I feel like I should roll out a welcome mat or something. Jersey is ready for ya!

  14. I’m glad for you guys.

    And I can see the brochure already. “Los Angeles: A completely unpleasant place to live!” 😉

  15. Best of luck and blessings in the move!

  16. yay! happy day, happy post! Traveling mercies – look forward to hearing from you on the flip side.

  17. great news for you guys! My husband was offered a promotion that would have meant he was on the road 3 weeks a month, we opted out…. its hard to turn down the money, but we figured out kids are only little once! Sounds like such an exciting time for you guys, and I am sure the kids will be beyond thrilled to have their dad around bunches more!

  18. very cool. i applaud your decision & wish you all the best. the craziness of this move will pass (although certainly be hard for the time) & you will get to be together more as a family– an incredibly worthwhile reason to endure the temporary craziness. GOOD LUCK.

  19. Sounds like a lot of really good reasons. Good luck on the move!

  20. Wow, that really is fantastic. Especially the part about more family time for all of you. I guess I can’t be sad you’re moving when it’s obviously so much better for you and your family. So instead, I’ll pray for safe travels and teachers that the kids like and all that other good stuff! *hugs* to you all.

  21. When can we see you?