Settling in

Many of you have asked how we are doing with the move.  We’re OK.  Benjamin is a little confused by the fact that both his preschool in Los Angeles and his preschool here have a Noah and a Ryan, but otherwise he seems to be adjusting nicely.  J is enjoying work thus far, and Lilah, other than the increased eczema, doesn’t care where she is as long as I am there with her.  I’m OK, too.  I’ve unpacked some things, I am carving out a little writing time, I have joined the town’s organic co-op.  In fact, we’re all doing well except for Zachary.

That’s because Zachary has no friends.  The children at school all ignore him, refusing to speak to him.  They also tease him mercilessly, mostly because they are all twice as tall as he is, a year older, and a different religion.  He has been sentenced to a lifetime of loneliness and isolation.

Of course, according to his teacher, the other kids are calling to him to come play with them and he is joining in, laughing.  There are plenty of other five-year-olds in the Kindergarten, he is not the only Jewish child, and he is all smiles and chatter throughout the day.

I appear to be getting somewhat conflicting reports.  While Zachary is always happy after school, he tells a dire tale of Kindergarten Pariah-ship and misery.  His teacher seems to think he is doing fine.  I’ve known him long enough to know that the truth is probably somewhere in between, but I have to take what he says seriously, because it reflects his reality, even if the rest of us cannot see it.  Whereas Benjamin hustles off to school with his pink sparkly Dora backpack, completely unconcerned about the opinions of his peers, Zachary takes things personally and awfully hard.

We’re all hardwired a little differently.

5 responses to “Settling in

  1. Truth is fluid with this age group. One of my kindergartners came home two days ago telling a fantastic story about big kids fighting. I had to listen carefully to realize that he was, for the most part, talking about something that really happened. But of course you have to be careful with your questions, because they like to be led.

  2. And it’s great Zachary has a mom who understands how he’s wired.

  3. Aw, poor Zachary. Maybe things will be a little easier for him after the break? Sometimes a little time away can level the playing field.

    I hope that he finds his comfort zone, soon. It’s hard to be the new kid, especially when you’re not a big fan of change in the first place.

  4. In case you were concerned about the eczema, mini has a lot more this winter due to the cold, we just have to live with it. Can’t answer anything else for you. Why can’t Benjamin have sugar?

  5. Poor Zachary. I hope he settles in soon. I can really relate.