A letter to the peeps in Copenhagen

Dear World Leaders,

So, I hear you people have all gotten together in Copenhagen for a little retreat to talk over a couple of things having to do with luxuries like air and water.  Since you are all, like, People and you are all leaders of more People, I was under the mistaken impression that your primary concern is, you know, People.

If that were the case, however, you would realize that, if we don’t take some serious fucking action, People will be extinct soon.  It may seem that I am exaggerating, except it turns out that all species depend upon their environment for the basic materials of life.  Shit like food and water, not to mention oxygen.  And, bizarre little species that we are, People seem to be doing our very best to make sure that the very materials we rely upon are completely destroyed in short order.

I know that you world leader folks think all the stuff you are arguing over is so very important.  I have read high-flown terms like “matter of principles.”  You know what?  I don’t give a rat’s ass in a bikini about principles at this point.  I want air to breathe.

So, get over yourselves.  Stop the pissing contest that uses the earth as a target.  You are world leaders.  Your ONE responsibility is to lead the world in saving itself.  Anything else you do will not matter one damned bit because there will be no people left to enjoy whatever you have managed to accomplish.

If it helps at all, I am sure that you all have very large penises, even the women.  Now that we have established that, can we move on to, you know, stopping Armageddon?

Thanks dudes.

Emily Rosenbaum

7 responses to “A letter to the peeps in Copenhagen

  1. My BIL is a big wig enviro and he’s there. All I’ve read this week is the number of attendees who arrived via limo. (And he flies his private plane everywhere he goes.) The carbon footprint of the summit is enormous.

    I want people to be responsible and use some farking sense, but the Major Environmentalist Types are harder and harder to take, for me.

  2. The “carbon footprint of the summit” is not “enormous.” It is a pittance, not even a pittance, compared to the carbon emissions in any one hour of any given day of any one nation right now. Moreover, if the freaking summit worked, those carbon emissions would be completely worthwhile as an investment in teh continued existence of western civilization.

    Anyway. If you or any of your readers are looking for somewhere to put the anger or frustration, there are a number of petitions and email campaigns going around to tell elected leaders and other negotiators to stay put in Copenhagen until they get the job done and get something decent signed. Even a one-line email to the President or PM telling them so would add to a large number of other voices telling them the same thing.

  3. Hmmm….

    There’s a great deal of information from supersmart scientist-types, not all of it unconvincing, that suggests that even if all of us walked everywhere we went, recycled everything we trashed, and collectively held our CO2-producing breaths, we’d still not make an impact. Not saying we shouldn’t do anything, just adding a different perspective. I, too, hope the talks are fruitful- perhaps just a wee bit more complex than throwing out our principles.

  4. I signed one of the petitions going round trying to encourage world leaders at Copenhagen to stick to their guns, make the necessary changes, implement them. I’m all for erring on the side of caution as far as the irreplaceable resources of the planet are concerned. And I cannot quite see why short term profit should stand as a credible argument against long term environmental damage. Cutting back on pollution, economising limited fuel supplies, concentrating on new and safe methods of production – shouldn’t we be doing these things anyway in a responsible world?

  5. I sorta thought this guy nailed it, in a cartoon from about 7 years ago…


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