Being completely and totally inept at all things technical, I once tried and failed to set up some sitestalker thingamagig to figure out who visits my site and from where.  Somehow, it managed to reflect that absolutely no one ever visits this blog, which I know to be patently untrue, because I click over at least once a week.

However, WordPress does kindly provide a probably somewhat incomplete list of the search terms people have used to find my site.  Normally, I just find those amusing.  And a little scary, since there seem to be an awful lot of people searching for Emily Rosenbaum, although maybe that’s because there’s a reality TV chick and a very prominent sociologist with my name.  Anyway, a recent uptick in certain combinations of search terms leads me to the conclusion that folks here in this very small town have learned that I have a blog and are actively searching for it.  And presumably reading.

That’s fine, of course, as there’s nothing I like more than increased blog stats.  There is a downside, however, to folks here in Rockwelland reading my musings.

I have to see them twenty minutes later in the school parking lot.

I have always aimed for brutal honesty here at Wheels on the Bus, with allowances made for the privacy of my family.  So, I don’t talk about my sex life,.  I don’t talk about my husband’s work, our arguments (not that we ever argue), or really anything about our relationship.  He’s a wonderful father and a supportive husband, but the man deserves his privacy.

I also try to respect my children’s privacy.  I am fine with the occasional poop post and a few years ago I included the requisite mocking of my toddler son’s interest in his willy, although you’ll note that for some reason I do not talk about my toddler daughter’s private parts at all.  I don’t know why that feels more invasive, but it does.  (Although, I guess that anatomically, it really is more invasive.)

A lot of my earliest writing had to do with my anxiety over Zachary.  He is complicated, and parenting him requires more ingenuity than I have on most days.  Over the years, I have used this space to figure him out.  I have made understanding my son’s psychology a bit of an obsession, and I continue that dedication to completely smothering my firstborn.

I just don’t think it’s right to do it in a forum being read by his friends’ parents.

Of course, I will continue to write about him, and I will try to be as honest as I can – as long as it is only my own psychology hanging out there like a big old moon in the bus window.

There is, however, an upside to knowing that people in this little town are interested in what I have to say.  It provides me an opportunity for the following public service announcement to those parents I will see in the school parking lot:

Please, for the love of Mike, when you are talking to your friends, picking up your kids, combing your hair, writing the great American novel on your iphone, or otherwise not actually driving somewhere in your automobile, turn the fucking thing off. That’s my air, my children’s air, and your children’s air that you’re belching foul toxins into.

And thanks for reading.

9 responses to “Idling

  1. If they read you they will come to love you (just like we do 🙂

  2. Oh yeah. That’s a pet peeve of mine too. My favorite (!) is the town traffic cop who attempts to keep the cars moving at the train station – the cars that are trying to PICK PEOPLE UP and DROP PEOPLE OFF and all the while, his town-issued cop car is sitting there idling. I actually looked up the statute one day – apparently he’s exempt because he’s a public servant.

  3. I don’t like idling either. I also read wordpress stats from time to time. I get a LOT of traffic to my post on Laura Ingalls Wilder. It never occurred to me, when I wrote it, that kids all over have school projects involving LW. That’s the way it is with my blog. The posts that are my favourites aren’t necessarily visited much, and others I just tossed off are off the charts.

  4. I know I have said this before but you just listed the many reasons I do not blog. I often feel like I have so much to say, but I cannot clearly define the boundaries, and because of that I choose to sit on the sidelines and just read (and comment of course)… idling also drives me crazy and its pretty common at the school despite the lovely sign they posted about protecting our kids air by turning off our cars! Then again some of these are the same folks who fly by me three kids in tow as I try to cross a clearly marked crosswalk…. apparently no one remembers that the law states the cars stop for pedestrians!

  5. idling drives me insane, too

  6. my blog is painfully honest. i let it all hang out over there because I need to deal with a lot right now. often I’ve been concerned with the amount of information I’ve put out there. I tend not to put much about my kids because as like you said, it’s my blog bot theirs. I have shared things that worry me for them/about them, but not a lot. However, the things I’m struggling with involve my ex husband and that is something I’m not sure is/was right of me to slap on the net. At this point I don’t believe anyone “in real life” reads my blog or even knows of it, but that doesn’t mean it will be that way forever.

  7. I find that the older my kids get the less I write about them. Elle’s still young so most of what I write about her is silly and cute but it’s a lot harder with Joseph. We’re dealing with some tough stuff with him but I never write about it because I feel like those stories are “his” and I don’t want them shared with any old neighbor or teacher who happens to stumble across my blog.

    My husband is fair game though. He reads my blog and thankfully he’s never had an issue with anything I’ve ever written about him. His mother reads it too and she always gets huffy with me any time I say anything about him. It’s neat.

  8. My husband is totally cool with my blogging. In fact, I think he has fewer privacy concerns than I do. My kids, though, are a different story. Now that my daughter is about to start kindergarten, the way I write about her is changing. Especially since I use her real name and photos. There can be no doubt exactly WHO I’m talking about, and I don’t want to be the cause of any more emotional anguish for her.

    (I say more, because of course I will be the cause of a fair bit already, as her mother. It’s like my duty or something. I just don’t need to pile it on.)

  9. I read. 🙂

    I also possibly could walk you through adding the widget for site meter or stat counter if you have signed up with them. Have to install it as a widget on your side bar for it to work.