To the hideous hyena fishwife of a woman who stood in the hallway of the fourteenth floor of the Hilton at 5:08 this morning and banged on the wall shouting, “Shut the fuck up! People are trying to sleep!”
I have not been away from my kids for two years. Lately, I get up every morning at 5 so I can write in peace on the dining room table. Then, at 6:30, my husband and my daughter get up. On alternate days, I run. The other days, he goes to the gym. I then spend my entire day in service to my children – wiping asses, cooking food, shuttling children between camp and friends houses and tae kwon do and the library. I have Zachary read to me every day and do puzzles with Benjamin and let Lilah stick her head between my knees when I am on the toilet because she likes to watch the pee come out and then cheer for me. When Ben’s tae kwon do master said he had to learn to count in Korean, I started teaching him to count in Korean, no easy feat given that I know no Korean and he just recently learned to count in English.
My kids are in bed by 8:30, and I try to be in bed by 9:00, but it never works because – even though my husband does the nighttime chores of garbage and wiping the counters and putting away the toy piecesparts – I usually have enough to do to keep me up so I don’t get to sleep till 9:30 or 10.
I do not watch TV. I do not see friends. I read two pages of a book a night because I have a fucking Ph.D. in literature and even if it takes me a year, I will read a book.
I came to BlogHer to see people and learn things, but mostly I came as an excuse to get the fuck away from my kids and my life for two days. Two days when I could let loose, not be responsible to someone else, read eight pages of the book if I wanted to, talk to other adults, and sleep the fuck in. Until 6:30 in the morning. All I wanted? Was to sleep in until 6:30 in the morning.
I am the people who were trying to sleep.
So, although I couldn’t go back to sleep, I hope you did. Because today I am going to find out who you are. Then, tonight, while you are asleep in your bed, I will scale the fourteen floors of the building, sneak into your room, stand over your bed, and count to ten in Korean at the top of my lungs.