As you may recall, I made a pledge back in December to buy no new clothing for one year, with the exceptions of any necessary undergarments, socks, and shoes. Some of you were looking forward to hearing all about my adventures in thrift shopping, and so you may wonder why I have gone silent on the topic. Well, there haven’t really been that many adventures…
Faced with the overwhelming task of sorting through rack after rack of fuchsia paisley polyester blouses and rayon sweaters with the size tag cut out while Lilah fussed in the stroller, I did what any sane woman would do: I stopped buying clothing. I did not want to buy new stuff with my body changing so regularly, yet I get overwhelmed even in the most coyly organized boutique, so the jumble of a thrift shop when I no longer know my size on a day-to-day basis was just too much to wrap my hormone-fuzzy brain around.
I did buy a beautiful brown dress for $35 in January because we had a wedding to attend. Of course, I also had to purchase Spanx in order to make my post-partum body presentable in anything other than sweatpants, but I figure that an undergarment that sucks in and firms up is an investment well-made. Not that it really mattered, since I wore Lilah in the Baby Bjorn through the entire reception. What can I say; I know how to accessorize to accentuate the positive.
Since then, however, I have bought only a couple pairs of jeans that I thankfully no longer fit and a few t-shirts that are long enough to cover the spare tire I am ever-so-attractively sporting. And I had to buy them in 7.3 seconds, because Lilah, unlike her eldest brother, takes after Mommy and hates to shop.
Well, this last week, I found myself with that rarest of all jewels – an afternoon to myself. So, I hightailed it over to a thrift shop benefitting a Jewish charity, ready to get a few cute tops to cover the remaining seven pounds that I don’t have the energy to chase away. It was a good shop with some nice things, crammed into the racks with absolutely no recognizable system, of course. I selected several items and turned to go to the dressing room.
Whereupon I realized that there was no dressing room. This is not uncommon among thrift stores, but it is always shocking to me. These things have been worn and washed; are there really people who buy them on faith that “eh, it looks about right”?
Not to be deterred, I marched over to the mirror in the center of the room. I managed to get a tank top on under my t-shirt, then removed the t-shirt to see how it fit. I kept the tank on to try on all the other tops, but skirts were a bit more complicated. I suspect there is a large family of Hasidic children that got more of an education than their mother would have liked that day.
At any rate, I left with three tops for twenty-three bucks, all of them with the tags still on. And I learned a valuable lesson that I will pass along to you today: when shopping in thrift stores, wear spandex shorts and a tight fitting tank top.
You can thank me later – right now you have some eco-friendly shopping to do.