Far too busy committing war crimes during his two terms in office, George W. Bush never did get around to signing the War Crimes Treaty. Now, however, there is a new sheriff in town, so I have sent him a little note:
Dear President Obama,
I am writing to encourage you to sign the War Crimes Treaty. Actually, I’d like to you re-sign it, since we signed it once before but your predecessor decided to back out. I think that the International Criminal Court is a very handy little institution and that the United States ought to support it.
United States participation in the International Criminal Court will make it much easier for those dudes over in The Hague to try George W. Bush for war crimes. Should they have a hard time establishing that he committed any war crimes, let’s try some “questionable interrogation techniques,” such as waterboarding or sleep deprivation, to get him to admit his guilt. After all, he has already proven how effective these techniques can be.
Mr. President, I know times are hard and that the government is kind of short on cash right now. So, if you need donations to help fund George W. Bush’s flight over for his trial, I am happy to donate to the Haul George W.’s Butt Into Court Fund. I think I may know another couple of people who are willing to donate, as well.
And, by the way, I think you are doing a pretty good job, no matter what people say. Making those D.O.J. reports public was an act of integrity, which has been sorely missing from Pennsylvania Avenue for almost a decade. Carry on, sir.
All the best,
Oh, yes, I did. Please feel free to write your own note, or you can use mine. I don’t mind.